Troll 2 review: Part 1

Troll 2.
Usually when you think cult movies, you think ‘Rocky Horror’. Rocky horror is the well known musical cult movie famous for being risqué and just pretty awesome. Well, this movie is a cult movie, but not a sing along one with a transvestite. This is Troll 2.

Troll 2 is famous for being what they call 'The best worst movie ever'. I couldn't agree more. It follows the adventures of Joshua, a young boy and his dead Grandfather warning him not to go on vaction in the town 'Nilbog' because there are goblins who run the town disguised as people and they want to turn Joshua into a plant and eat him. Strange, right?

The story starts out with Joshua in bed as a bearded amn reads him a story. He tells him about The Goblins and how they live in Nilbog where Joshua will be on vacation tommorow and all they want is to eat him and his family. The man telling him the story is Grandpa Seth! Pretty much the most badass Grandpa out there. He tells Joshua to do anything he can to stop his family from going there because the Goblins have special food that will turn them into plants and then they will devour them. The reason they must be plants first is because the Goblins are vegan. How healthy!

Meanwhile Joshuas sister Holly is in her room lifting weights for some reason, when she sees a face over her and screams. but it's not a Goblin, only Joshua knows about them. It's her boyfriend, Elliot.
"Oh my god Elliot!" She yells. "You scared the shit out of me!"
Then Elliot says something I can't understand (They both have incredible lisps)
and tells her "I have to release my instincts with a woman"
Then she knees him in the balls. What the hell!? Talk about abusive relationships!
"Release your instincts in the bathroom" She tells him. Oh my god...
"Are you nuts?" Says Elliot back "You trying to turn me into a homo?"
Then Holly says...
"It wouldn't be too hard, if my dad finds out you're here, he'll cut off your little nuts and eat them!"
What? Why does her dad want to eat his nuts? Why would that make him a homo? Do gay men not have balls?

She then tells him that she likes him (Despite kicking him in the crotch) but her family doesn't because he spends way too much time with his friends. He then tells her he never sees his friends! And of course his friends are waiting outside for him.

'What's wrong with having friends?' Says Elliot.

'Nothing if you want to remain a virgin the rest of your life. You take them to bed with you too! And I don't beileve in group sex.' Wait...huh?

Why does he sleep with his friends? And how old is Holly to be talking about group sex? She looks around 14 to me...

The next bit of lines may be the worst lines EVER spoken in a movie. Ever.

Elliot: 'I heard your family was going on vacation tommorow?'

Holly: 'Yes! To a small empty town called Nilbog. It's an exchange a family from there will come live in our house ane we'll live in theirs'

Elliot: 'Can I come with you?'

Holly: 'Sure! I'll tell my dad you're coming tommorow!'

WHAT!? If her dad and whole fmaily hate him then why would he go on vacation with the,!? Her dads going to cut his little nuts of and eat them! AHH!!

Well, thats the end of my Troll 2 part 1 review. I will go on and write the next part soon.