It's the next day and Holly is upset because her boyfriend never showed up. Her and her father (Michael) are now fighting about her boyfriend. She insists he is a good guy (Even though he sleeps with his friends) and the he isn't buying it. That is when the mother pipes up. She has had enough of this fighting! She turns to Joshua in the back seat of the car and says
'Come on Joshua! Sing that song I like so much!'
'Aw mom, I don't feel like singing.'
'Just sing!'
Then Joshua starts singign a very...weird choice of song. Row, row, row your boat. What? Why that song? Why is that the song his mother likes so much? I haven't liked that song since I was five. I thought the song would be something from Guns and Roses or Bon Jovi or even somethign from Broadway, but Row, row, row your boat? That's...Umm. Very, very odd. Poor kid he's in a crazy family.
So the whole family starts singing Row, row, row your boat at different times and the result is very strange.
Meanwhile this is going on, Elliot (The sisters boyfriend) and his friends are trying to find Nilbog and are driving there in an...RV trailer!??!? yes. because every teenage gets their own RV trailer. Why he decided to go there with his friends instead of his girlfriend even when she told him NOT to bring his friends and she hates that he sees them. Maybe he's getting back at her for kicking him in the groin? I guess so...
In the car Joshua wakes up to find green watery goo spilling all over himself and twigs and leaves growing out of his fingers.
'Stop the car! I'm sick!' he yells. I guess being sick means sweating green disgusting goo?
His family turns around and looks at him menacingly telling him he ate too much and he stuffed himself like a pig. Then his whole family turn into trolls (Which Charlie Sheen would hate, we all know he hates trolls) The trolls kind of look like.... well
yeah, like that.
So anyways, Joshua wakes up screaming about the trolls trying to eat him and finds out that no one has turned into a troll, they're actually still just bad actors.
'Was i dreaming?' he asks.
'Who wants to eat you little brother?' Yes, because everyone calls their siblings 'Big/little brother or sister'. They don't call them by their names....
As the car keeps going Joshua sees Grandpa Seth on the side of the road holding a sign that says "Stop them!" He tells his father to stop the car and runs out to see his grandfather. His Grandfather warns him again about the Goblins! If his grandfather is dead and a ghost can't he just go to his parents and tell them to stay away from Nilbog? I mean, his parents would beileve a ghost. EVen if they don't beileve him... I don't think Grandpa Seth thought this one out...
So, his family calls him back in the car and Grandpa Seth turns back into a homeless guy on the road. They leave the guy there without even giving him change. Geez, how rude?
When they finally get to Nilbog they meet the family they will be switching houses with. They're a very eerie family dressed like they're from the pioneer times. Joshua looks at them and sees that they all have the same birth mark. The birthmark kind of looks like silly putty...
Then they take the keys and go in to explore their temporary home. They find that the family has left a meal for them on the table! The meal consists of corn with green goo on it, a green jug of liquid, and some other green covered food. Joshua knows better than to eat the food (Which of course would turn him into a Goblin) but his family doesn't. Who the hell would eat food with green goo on it anyways? I wouldn't. Even if I didn't know it would turn me into a Goblin...
Joshua hears a tapping on the window and sees it's Grandpa Seth.
Grandpa Seth tells Joshua that he cannot let them eat and stops time for 30 seconds so Joshua can figure out how to get them to stop.
Grandpa Seth can stop time? Awesome! Why doesn't he just send them back home then!!?!
Joshua walks around the table for what I know is MUCH longer than 30 seconds trying to decide what to do to get them to stop eating. His family though suppose to be frozen are still blinking and shaking.
Then he gets an amazing idea: Why doesn't he just pee on the food!?
Yes. Pee.
The next scene is his father holding Joshua over his shoulder and bringing him upstairs in a rage.
'You see this!?' He yells pointing at rooms with their names written on them.
'Do you know what that means?' He asks joshua.
'It means hospitality and you can't piss on hospitality I WON'T ALLOW IT!'
'What are you going to do to me daddy?' Asks joshua as his father plays with his belt. Ummmm...... is he going to spank him with the belt? That's horrible!
But no! He was just tightning his belt by one loop to resist hunger pains! of course! That makes a lot of sense!
He then challenges Joshua to see who can go without food the longest, because his father says he actually did suffer from starvation when he was younger. That's terrible! Why? What was his family life like? Why did they just bring this up? Why don't they go home and get their son a therapist? We never hear of this hunger strike again...
A picture from the 'You can't piss on hospitality' scene.
Well, that's it for part 2. I'll be back to write part 3.
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